Sunday, July 16, 2006






Don't Take Nuthin From No-one!!!
Sang the NWOBHM pioneers The Tygers of Ping Pong.

I contacted their lead singer about allegations that they were involved in the trade of illeagally imported thimbles from North Korea (Part of the Evil Empire).


Jessica Koix (name changed by deedpoll after gender-therapy) the Tygers vocal gymnast told me: "That's a pack o' fookin lies like. I'm kna takin' that shite from no cunt. If I find oot who telt ye that I'll fookin chin the cunt!"

She did admit to collecting and selling "legal" thimbles though. Her fascination with thimbles started when: "I kept prickin me fookin fingers like, when I was sowin' eavy metal patches on me denims like, me gran said I should use a thimble and then chinned me for bein a poofter like.

I too thought that thimbles were for poofs but after a little investigating I found out how wrong I was. Check out the thimbles illustrating this fine investigative piece for the proof.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are the pioneer of the Heavy Metal Antiques Roadshow!
I have a few old parts that I wouldn't mind you feeling as you approve their value!
(cackle)

6:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Edna the market for antique meat is at an all time low I'm afraid. Please put your giblets away.

7:20 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I won't stop until see your antiques bollock naked you trollop!

8:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's quite a straightforward operation, really,' Basically, they split the penis in two and invert it, using the membrane. . ."

9:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an amazing collection of thimbles and other articles for home-sewing including a Hand Held Easy Stitch Sewing Machine (as seen on tv)- none are related to Heavy Metal or other pop music styles

6:38 pm  
Blogger Clawhammer said...

Edna: Can I have some pictures of you wearing your classic 1950's style Biker Jacket, fishnet body-stocking and green wellingtons. You understand of course I require these for research purposes only.

Bobo: You are a well known tightwad and member of the Dark Church of the Coffee-Pot. Please do not attempt to start a flame-war here. The Tea-Priests will surely smite you.

Man in a Mac: Methinks you too are a purveyor of coffee and it's evilness. TEA IS THE ONE TRUE DRINK!!!

Babs: This is a local blog for local bloggers, we'll have no trouble here!

Bert The hand held easy stitch is a device of Beelzebub and commonly used in Coffee-Cult rituals. Please never mention it again.

7:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with you Claw

7:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's happened to your blog Claw it's gone a bit brittle mate if you know what I mean?

8:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh so many negative vibes, please sit back with a herbal tea

2:07 pm  
Blogger Clawhammer said...

Miss Primrose... join me in the world of hate and despair. Misery is the new happiness. Hate,kill,maim and self mutilation is the one true way.

6:39 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you suggesting I partake in the ritual of black tea??

10:17 pm  
Blogger Clawhammer said...

A pot of darkest Twinings English Breakfast tea. Consumed at the Witching hour... with a packet af Mcvities Hob-Nobs!!!

6:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

will that be chocolate or plain?

7:34 pm  
Blogger Löst Jimmy said...

So where is the new blogs oh Master of the Claw(Hammer), subjugator of the Flying V???

12:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once got into a confusing conversation with a drummer about thimbles. It turns out he had a slight lisp and was talking about cymbals! I sent this story to the Ross-Shire Journal of Shit and they printed it.

1:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why did Mr Comment Deleted repeat his commenary twice saying the same thing?

4:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh forgive me I forgot to leave my website for your viewing enjoyment....excuse me for my inefficency.........Now prepare to accept my wrath oh weaklings

12:24 am  
Blogger Löst Jimmy said...

I am the real Stinkor!

3:06 pm  
Blogger Clawhammer said...

George - It has always been my ambition to have something printed in the Ross-Shire Journal of Shite. I may send them a picture of my arsehole to use in a comedy caption contest.

Stinky - Your wrath has been accepted and disposed off. A cup of weak tea was all it took to deal with it. May I suggest you watch a fantastic and joyful movie called "Even Dwarfs Started Small". Please watch it with a pack of razor blades and a large bottle of strong pain killers, you may also like to put a plastic bag on your head etc...

4:31 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People of Blogger! I stand before the Great Eye of the galaxy, chosen by destiny to receive the very powers of Blogging! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as He-Man himself bears witness to it... Now. I, Flying V, am Master of the Power Chord! Yes! Yes... I feel it, the power... fills me. I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! Its power flows... Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are nothing to me! The universe is power! Pure, unstoppable power! and I am that Force! I am that Power!"
(Addressing Claw Hammer) "Kneel before your master! Fool! You are no longer my equal! I am more than man! More than life! I... am... a... god! Now. You... will... kneeeel! Kneeeel!"

11:40 pm  
Blogger Clawhammer said...

My dear Flying Vagina, there is one small flaw in your insane plan. I don't believe in GOD.

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your just saying that to sound tough Clawhammer. You do too believe in god.

And Mr. Flying V, I hope jesus will forgive you for your blasphemy because I sure as hell wont.

Stinkor, I thought you were the best MOTU action figure and it's a darn shame you never made it onto the TV show.

8:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long Live The New Tea!

3:40 pm  

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